How did I get where I am today?

Everyone always asks how did you find out you had cancer?... I don't blame anyone for asking and I often wonder myself, "how did I get here today?" I never felt sick, I never felt like my body was misbehaving or like something was majorly wrong.

As many of you may or may not know I have autoimmune diseases, I have a disease similar to Lupus and I have arthritis and a connective tissue disease in my lungs. They are all well managed with medicines and regular follow up with my doctors. I am thankful that I can live a normal live even with these things going on in my body. I really have no limitations besides no more running, it is too hard on the knees with the arthritis.

One night in January though I was at Target and all of a sudden I started bleeding and bleeding. I went to the bathroom and tried to get control of it but I couldn't and it felt out of control so I went right over to urgent care. The nurse was so kind and I remember her saying, "if I was bleeding like that I would have come right in to." I was so thankful for those words because the bleeding only lasted an hour or so but it was so intense. When I was there they did an ultrasound and found that my lining of my uterus was thick. They said it was most likely from my medicines from my autoimmune but that I would need to do a follow up with my doctor.

I went in to see my primary care doctor a few days later and she said that they could thin out the lining with some medicines but first they need to run a D&C just to be sure all was normal but again that the thickening was most likely from the medicines and my autoimmune disease. She tried to do the D&C but was unable to do a successful D&C so she referred me to a specialist, I am so thankful for this!

The specialist, Dr James, decide the best course of action was to put me under and do the D&C at the hospital. I was not thrilled about that but after the rough D&C with the regular doctor I agreed that this was most likely the best course of action so it was scheduled for March. I got sick in March and could not go under so we had to reschedule the procedure. Dr. James did the D&C at the hospital on June 12th and as I was waking up he came in and said, "I believe it is cancer but we will know more in a week when the results are back."

I thought it was a bad dream but I woke more and asked Todd and he said that Dr. James had explained the same to him and that it was most likely cancer. I was scared and upset that the doctor had said that it might be cancer but not being sure and having to wait a week seemed cruel. I was so mad that day but the more I prayed and seeked God in the situation the more at peace I was that when we went back to the doctor one week later. I was so thankful that I had the week with God to talk to Him and hear from Him and I was thankful Dr. James had given us as much information as he could at the time.

It was confirmed that I had endometrial cancer on June 19th and my doctor said he could not do the next steps as he was getting ready to retire so I would have to see a new specialist. He referred me to a doctor in Loveland, Dr Rubatt and Dr. James said "she was the best and if I could get in there quickly and my insurance would cover it don't go any where else because she is the best." I prayed that my insurance would cover it and I got an appointment for June 26.

(for more information on endometrial cancer you can read about it at https://www.cancer.org/cancer/endometrial-cancer.html)

Dr. Rubatt walked in and was concerned that I was young and would want more kids. I quickly explained that we had adopted and that if we wanted more kids than we would adopt again. She continued to tell us that she would like to take everything, the uterus, the fallopian tubes, the ovaries, and a few lymph nodes. She believes that I did get the cancer because of the connective tissue diseases. I was all for surgery with the goal of not having to do chemo therapy and having the surgery quickly. I was praying hard to not having to do chemo therapy.

They scheduled the surgery for July 5, 2017 and we were off to the races to get the cancer out before it spread. The doctor took some lymph nodes to test and everything came out during surgery. The surgery was a success and the lymph nodes came back negative! The cancer had not spread! There is no need for chemo or radiation! The cancer was stage 1A! A rare early catch!!!

I have seen God through so many of the steps of this process and I am thankful every day, even as I recover from this crazy surgery. I am thankful that in a total of less than a month, they found the cancer, removed it and found out that I am now cancer free.

I still am in recovery mode of life, I can't sit much, standing and laying is best. If I drop something it can stay down there or someone else has to get it. I am still tired more than normal. I get sore easily. I still have scars that need to heal and bruising from the surgery but all I have to do is recover and not do further treatment, I am so thankful!! I will have my next follow up on August 18 and then hopefully I will get back to being able to lift and move and get back to normal life then.

I am thankful to everyone who has prayed for me, those prayers carried me through this whole event. I am thankful for everyone who has brought food, it is a true blessing to me and my family. I can't bend which means I can't cook, get pans, put stuff in the dishwasher, nothing, so the food is a true gift. I am also so thankful for all the encouragement and cards. Laying in bed and recovering gets old but the cards/emails of encouragement truly lift my spirit. I am thankful for friends who took Payton for playdates while I was in surgery and recovering so she can remain a kid and have fun while I recover and deal with cancer.

I am truly thankful for my family, I was only in the hospital for one day and came home. When I came home I could do nothing myself, not get in or out of bed, not shower, not go to the bathroom, nothing. My family helped me do everything and was an amazing help. I still can't lift anything over 10 pounds, bend, help with chores around the house, or do much of anything and my family continues to be my main support while I recover and I am so thankful!!!

Life can throw us different curves along the way but when you trust and believe in a God that cares and loves you, you can have true PEACE through it all! God has protected, guided and loved me through this all and I am thankful every day for His grace and peace!

One week post surgery

The view from my bed

Well surgery came and went and it seems like the weeks leading up flew by and now time is standing still, or should I say laying still.

Surgery was on July 5th and it was an emotional day. I was able to control my emotions and everything until that day and I felt that I just needed to get it over with and be ready to move on. The night before I wrote a prayer, as a friend who had the same situation as me before had encouraged me to do, and I slept great but when I woke I was emotional. 

To have to have a full hysterectomy at age 34 and not sure what else they would find when they were in there was overwhelming. I knew God was with me but fear and the unknown were strong. I continued to cling to the verse, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6 There was much to be thankful for, good doctors, quick action, a great praying church, friends to care for my family, amazing family support and a God that no matter what was with me. I leaned hard into the ten finger prayer any time I would feel worried, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Laying in bed recovering

The morning of the surgery we dropped Payton at a friends house and off to the hospital Todd and I went leaving Mom and Dad to do Week of Hope at Soaring Wings Ministries. Our pastor friend, Ms Diane stopped by and prayed and it was such a blessing as I needed to be reminded that we were not in this alone. The doctor was running an hour late and so we just continued to wait. They wheeled me back and that is all I remember until well after the surgery. 

Thankful for all the love and support. 

Todd, Mom and Dad met with the doctor after the surgery. She said it went fine and they were able to remove the uterus, ovaries and tubes. They took some lymph nodes and would have them tested to see what the next course of action would be. The cancer was well in the lining and had just started to enter the uterus muscle so it was good that we acted quickly and got it out before it spread. The doctor said we would hear about the lymph nodes on Monday. 

I went up to my room for the night and they said one person could spend the night. I asked Todd what he thought and he thought he should go home and be with Payton so I asked mom to spend the night. Mom was great and agreed and I couldn't be more thankful. She was such a huge help and encouragement. They worked through the night to get me out of bed, oh my word the pain and struggle was real. I was able to meet with the doctor and get the stitches out and be discharged to go home the next day. 

Family Movie Night in Bed

It was a slow ride home as every bump reminded me that I had just had a major surgery, the dirt road was a good challenge of patience driving. We got home and into bed I went with lots of help. The doctor called and said the test results came in quicker than she ever thought and there was no cancer in the lymph nodes! This is a huge answer to prayer as I didn't want to do more surgery or chemo!! 

I am not able to do more than walk to get a glass of water and go to the bathroom. I do see improvement, the wounds are starting to heal, I can get out of bed on my own, I can stand in a shower by myself and I can almost get back into bed with no help. I can not sit in a chair yet as my surgery has made me sore and weak and they said laying in bed and resting for the first week is about all I should do. 

I will return to the doctor on Thursday for a follow up and to make sure we are all on the same page of what is next. I hope just follow up appointments and be done with this crazy phase of life. I still have 7 more weeks of recovery and we shall see what that means but I am so thankful for all the prayers and all the meals and support. 

Surely goodness and love will follow
me all the days of my life.
Psalm 23:6

I know God protected me, provided for me and guided me through this crazy cancer adventure! Maybe my next blog will be how we came to find out I had cancer as everyone asks how did you know you had cancer since you won't sick but that is for next time! :)

The verse that I am leaning into this week: 

"Be still and that I am God." Psalm 46:10 and

Please pray for:

Payton took a picture of my garden for me! <3

Doctors Appointment on Thursday: that the doctor say we can just do normal follow ups and be done with the cancer world

Patience: As I recover and let my body heal

Family: Everyone here is tired and my family has had to take on a lot with helping me and caring for Payton while still doing full time ministry to the homeless. 

Snuggling before bedtime. 

Give Thanks for:

God: what a great and mighty God we serve!

Family: their willingness to help me in/out of bed, take care of Payton, bring me meals, encourage me, change sheets, and help however they can.  

Friends: Praying, encouraging, having Payton for playdates, providing meals

Modern Medicine: good doctors, nurses, modern medical test and wisdom in tough situations

Summer, Week of Hope and Health

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

I wanted to give you an update on Soaring Wings Ministries and my health. We are loving our summer at Soaring Wings Ministries working with Week of Hope again. The teenagers that come to serve with their leaders are full of energy and we are so thankful for all the work they can do with us on the ranch and the outreach we get to do with them to the homeless in the area! Every Wednesday we pack blessing bags, make cookies, and cross necklaces and head to Fort Collins for outreach to the homeless. This summer the Week of Hope campers will do projects like painting, roof repair, work on the plumbing in the addition, and much more! The days are busy and full but at the end of each week we are so thankful and give thanks to God for each person that serves with Soaring Wings Ministries. 

Last Monday I met with one of my doctors and they told me that I have endometrial cancer. It was a shock but at the same time I have had a true peace (God's peace!!!) about the situation, my family had been praying for me for about a week when we had the warning that I could have cancer and I promise that God has entered my life like never before! People keep asking how are you feeling, I feel great- seriously I don't feel sick at all- thank God for that and thank God that His peace and strength is all over me and I feel it every moment. 

I met with the oncologist yesterday and surgery is scheduled for July 5th. The surgery will be about 3 hours and the recovery will be 8 weeks. I can't imagine going slowly for 8 weeks but I will take it day by day and trust that God has this too. We won't know any more about what is next until after the surgery so we wait and trust that God is already in the future. 

Please pray for:

- The Week of Hope campers: give thanks for all they will do this summer to serve the Soaring Wings Ministries ranch and the homeless in the community. Pray for their safety and that they draw near to God as they serve here.

- The Homeless: that they feel God's love through the services from Soaring Wings Ministries and our Week of Hope campers this summer.  

- My health: that the cancer is local and that the surgery goes smoothly and they can remove all the cancer. Pray for patiences for me as I recover and pray that I can heal fully.

- My family: pray that they have peace and patience during this time of surgery and recovery too. 

What can you do to help? Everyone always says what can I do to help which I love and am so thankful for and I can't tell you how amazing people really are! 

- Pray, I love prayer! I truly believe that God hears our prayers and when we pray amazing things happen to us and to those who you are praying for so please pray. 

- Meals- Mom (and Todd and Dad) will be doing more around here as I will be out of service for a 8 weeks. That is more with Soaring Wings Ministries and at the house. So if you would like to donate a meal that would be amazing, contact mom to figure that out please. 

- Support- I won't be able to do fundraisers or really much for a while and I live on support so if you would like to make a donation towards my support that would be a true gift to me and my family as I recover. You can donate two ways online (www.soaringwingsministries.org and click donate) or mail a check to Soaring Wings Ministries at 499 Trinity Lane Wellington, CO 80549 with "Meredith Support" in the memo. To not have to worry or think about this while dealing with these health issues would be a true gift! 

Thank you for your prayers and support! 

Sincerely,

Meredith Peters

An update from Meredith

Today is Super Tuesday and super exciting at Soaring Wings Ministries as we introduced our Building Fund Drive today! It is great for me too personally because I have been able to work on the brochure, postcards, letters, etc from home while still recovering and going to all the doctors appointments that I have had to go to the last two months.

I am feeling better. I am thankful that the pneumonia is gone and I have more energy. I do not have to wear oxygen when I am at rest. I do when I am up and moving around but that is even at a low amount and I am hopeful that I will be able to get off the oxygen in the near future.

I am able to do more around the ranch and with the family. I get to go to church which is huge for me,  work on the Soaring Wings website and mailings, I can help in the kitchen and I can play with Payton. Somethings are still frustrating that are limited but I try to focus on how much better I am doing and where we are going.

I am still doing testing and trying medicines and seeing many specialist. This is a strange week as I have no doctors appointments but fear not I have multiple specialist next week :)

There is no official word of what is going on with my body yet besides something in the lungs and an autoimmune disease but what they are and if they are connected are not known yet but as long as I continue to improve and feel better that is what I care about.

I am so thankful to everyone for your prayers and support. It has been hard being limited in my outside contact but the medicine I am on makes me more likely to catch other viruses and have a low immune system so I do as much as I can from home to support and work for Soaring Wings Ministries.

If you have a chance please check out www.soaringwingsministries.org and look at the building fund page and my missionaries page. I continue to work to raise support so I can do Soaring Wings Ministries full time. This week, Friday, we will be going out to do Donuts with Friends and I am looking forward to getting back out with the homeless and encouraging them. Please pray for us as we serve them and interact with our homeless friends.

Please keep the prayers coming that I would have continued energy, strength and limited need for the oxygen. Please pray for the doctors to be wise in the next steps. Thank you for all your cards, encouraging notes, meals, prayers and words!

Thank you!
Meredith Peters

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

My daily life since traveling East

 

I have decided that since I am home bound for a little over a week that I would write a blog. Everyone keeps asking how I am doing and what the latest news is and so I will blog and who knows maybe get back into blogging more after this situation is done too. I enjoyed blogging before and I enjoy being able to look back on the blog so we will see where this go but for today here is my blog...

Todd, Payton and I got to go back to New England for three weeks during the Christmas season to visit with family and friends (and meet the news member of the Peters family). We were so excited to also be sharing at different places about Soaring Wings Ministries and what God is doing here in Colorado with our lives and the lives of the homeless. While we were back in New England I started feeling worst and worst. I couldn't really pinpoint what was worst but I knew when I got back to Colorado I should go to the doctor. I was short of breath when I had to talk for long times and I was tired but worst was my heart would race so fast from the littlest things.

When we got back to Colorado I thought I just had a chest cold but I was not coughing and it was not passing. I called the doctor and they did an X-ray and I had pneumonia so they sent me home to rest and take some medicine. At home I felt no better and maybe even worst so when I went back on Monday, 5 days later, for my follow up they said try so new medicines and rest but if your oxygen drops below 85 just go to the closest ER.

When I walked into the pharmacy to get my medicine my oxygen was below 85 before I got to the pharmacy so off to urgent care we went leaving the medicine at the pharmacy. At urgent care they ran test and looked at stuff and made sure that I didn't have blood clots because from the X-ray they were not sure. Thankfully there were no blood clots just severe pneumonia so by ambulance they sent me to the hospital to be admitted.

When I arrived they hooked me up to every machine and got me ready for the night. My blood results  showed that my pneumonia was going septic and they worked hard in the night to get me so I could be more stable. The nurses were amazing and I was thankful to be in good hands. I progressed and felt ready to leave so on Thursday they sent me home.

Thursday and Friday morning I felt fine but by Friday evening I was starting to feel just as sick and by Saturday morning I was so sick I couldn't even barely stand. It was horrible and scary so Todd took me back to the hospital and they admitted me again. The pneumonia was back and I was needing more medical advice. I had a lung specialist come and he was convinced that it must be a bad viral pneumonia since I had been on medicine for almost 2 weeks at this point and not much improvement but the test results come back and it was not viral so then on to the next test.

The lung specialist tested my autoimmune levels and those results came back with positives but not clear enough to give a diagnosis yet without seeing a rheumatologist. So the pneumonia was having a hard time getting out of my system as my body is fighting autoimmune disease as well.

We finally all agreed that I could be on oxygen and rest at home just the same as I was in hospital. They were fearful that I would catch something else at the hospital and my body is just not strong enough to fight anything else right now. So until Feb. 8 when I can see the rheumatologist I will be at home, resting, drinking lots of water, and trusting God everyday for His guidance and wisdom.

How am I feeling? I am feeling hopeful and thankful that God holds me in His hand daily. God knows way more than I can about my body or any doctors. I am thankful for doctors but my trust is ultimately in God's hands and my future too.
I am thankful for my family. Payton's laughter and hugs can make anything seem better. I am thankful for Todd, mom, dad, my brother and my sister for their help and patience as I can not do much of anything.
I am frustrated that even something as simple as going to use the restroom or leaning over to kiss Payton can make my heart race so high it hurts. My body is sore and still needs more rest than I know how to give it but I am thankful to be home, to see the sunlight, and be a part of daily life at the ranch. I am trying hard to be patience with myself and take life one moment at a time.
Thank you to everyone who has sent cards, written messages, brought food and visited me in the hospital. The encouragement is so amazing and I am thankful!

Psalm 91:2 "I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”

R is the letter of the day... resurrection and Rio 2!

It has been a long time since I haven't written a post. Not because I haven't wanted to or I don't have anything to share but because time is precious and I have been loving the time with my Payton and when she takes a nap it is the perfect time to do work or catch up on mail or a number of other things.

But today I feel inspired and ready to write a blog. Today is the Saturday between Good Friday and Easter and seriously one of my favorite weekends! A weekend that makes my heart feel sadness, pain, thankfulness, joy, hope, and mostly LOVE!

I love Easter and all that it stands for... I love that God loves me and EVERY person in this world so much that He would suffer and die to express that love! I love that there are traditions that surround this hope and love! I love the spring air, the church services, the constant reminders of Jesus and His love for us!

One of the traditions in my family growing up was to go away for Easter weekend and spend the weekend at a hotel, go shopping on Saturday for Easter outfits, visit a church and then have an Easter brunch before heading home. Well for many reasons we could not do that this year with my family but today we went to the mall to get Easter outfits and to see a movie.

We took Payton to go see Rio 2 and yes we maybe a little crazy as a one year old in the movies can be crazy but she highly enjoyed Rio so we were hopeful. Well it goes without saying that Payton is growing up! We have been seeing many true signs of this lately and hard to believe how big and independent she really is but at the movie she did AWESOME!

She had a little candy treat, sat in a booster seat, laughed, pretended to cry and all the wonderful things that one year olds do at movies but my favorite part was at the end of the movie (movie spoiler coming up, haha)...

The lady friend of the birds knocks over one of the bad guys tractors and throws her hands up in the air and cheered and right on que Payton did the same. Her hands went up and she was smiling and say "yahoo!" Todd being the best dad didn't let his daughter sit there cheering alone and threw his hands up too and cheered with her. In that moment I thought, wow my life is a treasure and I am so thankful that God has made this my family!! I will always think of this Easter with fond memories of Payton and Todd cheering at the movie theatre as we make traditions of our own to celebrate the best gift... God's unfailing love through Jesus' resurrection!!

One year today feels like a million years ago and just yesterday all at the same time!

One year today feels like a million years ago and just yesterday all at the same time!
I have been thinking about what I wanted to write in my blog to mark our first full year as a family and I have so much I want to say and at the same time so little to say. I am still in awe of the fact of how God answered our prayers!

My family is such an answer to prayers and such a gift that I don't take one day for granted with them. When I was thinking about the day we got to bring Payton home and the feeling that morning when I woke up; that I was going to bring home my baby after our time of waiting, I remember thanking God and being sooooo excited to see Payton and count her fingers and toes and get to know her!

Well when I woke up this morning, it was snowing and I rushed into the office to get done what I had to get done. Then a stop at the store before our snow storm and the whole time, I was thinking about how blessed I am to have a home full of love. I was just as excited to go home and hug Payton as the day we got to bring her home one year ago!

I wasn't quite as nervous and I didn't have to sign paper work or anything but today as we counted her toes, she loves to count things, I thought about the first day and how we got home and Todd and I both were like now what? And then God lead us as we needed to go. The now what quickly turned into "what's that?" and now this is our daily life.

Our daily life where we try to show Payton how to have a relationship with God and with others that is full of love and grace. Our daily life where we try to build one another up, support each other, and laughter together. Our daily life where dumping the crayons is just as exciting as picking them up for a one year old who loves to sort. Our daily life where I still stop and think from time to time, how did we get such an amazing gift?

I can't express my love for Payton enough! I can't tell you how much I love being a mother, I can't type enough words or share enough pictures to express how the little things melt my heart. I can't explain to you how long my heart ached to pray with my child at bedtime or to see Todd smile because his daughter says, "Hi dadda," I can't share how much my heart longed to have this child, Payton, in my life and to know that she is the one that was always my daughter. Payton is not just an answer to prayers but a miracle!

I am so thankful to Payton's birth family for choosing to give her to us out of pure love. We are so blessed to have a relationship with her birth family, we have about 3-4 scheduled visits a year with them. I was out shopping the other day with Payton and we were walking down the road to go get coffee  and who do we see across the road? Payton's birth grandmother, so we got to have a cup of coffee with her grandparents, it was a nice surprise and I am so thankful that they are so open and we can be open with them and at the same time that they respect us and give us space to parent. We are so thankful to God for the relationship we have with her birth family.

I know that adoption is not for everyone but I am so thankful that after much prayer and research and a miracle from God that we had the privilege to adopt Payton because I know without a doubt in my mind that although she is "not flesh of my own flesh": she is my daughter and we are sooooo thankful to celebrate our first ever family day!!!

Here are some pictures from the first few weeks together to more recently! What a year! What an amazing story God is doing through our lives! We are so thankful to God for our little miracle and blessing! 

January 2, 2013: Payton in the car heading home with us!

  Daddy and Payton day one! Talking and becoming buddies!

January 2, 2013: My little baby that I had longed to hold was finally home! 

  Kisses from mommy before bath time!

Look at that face! <3

She has grown so much in a year! 

Our family!!

Payton can now walk, run, communicate! She is the best!!

Daddy and Payton Christmas morning 2013 

My heart is filled with Joy ALL the Time!!!

What happened to my little baby, she is growing so fast. I am so proud!

Can only imagine where God will lead her in the future! Trusting Him each step of the way!